9 Reasons Why People Use Drugs and Alcohol

The reasons why people use drugs – A quick overview

Many people have never experienced addiction of any sort. For these people it can be very hard to understand and grasp the logic behind drug abuse. But with drug use getting more and more prevalent in America, it’s now common for people to dig deeper and look for the reasons why people use drugs and alcohol. This is not meant to be a complete list, nor is is meant to be medical advise, but I feel this article can shed some light for addicts or family members of addicts dealing with this burning question…

 “Can someone please explain to me the reasons why people use drugs?”

This list has been compiled from 13 years of personal experience watching my close family member struggle with the darkest moments of addiction. Many times I asked and prodded to get answers from my sister who was addicted to drugs. She didn’t always have the answers – but she still taught me. The important thing that I learned is that drugs alter the thinking patterns in your brain which can distort logic and rationality. Therefore an addict may not fully understand what a sober person can. So most of my analysis came from observing her behaviors. So here is my list regarding the reasons why people use drugs and alcohol.

1. People suffering from anxiety, bipolar disorder, depression or other mental illnesses use drugs and alcohol to ease their suffering.
Mental illness is such a burden for some people they will try just about anything to relieve the pain. Drugs or alcohol can temporarily make that person feel ‘normal’ again, like they remember feeling in the past. Mental illness is scary for the individual experiencing it, so they are afraid to go to a doctor or family member for help and instead turn to drugs or alcohol to try and solve the problem on their own.

2. People see family members, friends, role models or entertainers using drugs and rationalize that they can too.
As teenagers and young adults, it’s very easy to think that drug and alcohol use can be handled and controlled, especially if they see others they know doing the same thing. It can become easy to rationalize like: ‘hey my friend’s been doing this for a couple years and he seems fine to me.’ Entertainment and music is full of drug references and that can add to the rationalization that drug use is ok sometimes. Individuals with a family history of drug or alcohol abuse are far more likely to develop an addiction than an individual with no family background of addiction.

3. People become bored and think drugs will help.
Boredom is a big factor in drug abuse in teens and young adults. People in this age bracket generally don’t have bills, jobs and all the stresses that go along with adulthood. So it’s easier to become bored and want to try something new and exciting. Drug use is often thought of as a way to escape the mundane world and enter an altered reality.

4. People think drugs will help relieve stress.
Our modern world is full of new strains and stresses that humans have never experienced in the past. Although many things in life are now easier than ever, the burdens are also very high. Simply having a family, maintaining a household, and holding a job are huge stress factors. Some drugs are viewed as a means of relaxation – a way to calm the storm in your mind. Although drugs can be very effective at doing that, there can be serious side effects.

5. People figure if a drug is prescribed by a doctor, it must be ok.
It is easy for an individual to rationalize using a drug because it came from a doctor. The thinking goes like this ‘it was prescribed to someone I know for the same problem I am having, so it makes sense it should work for me too.’  The dangerous part about this rationalization is that this can lead to mixing of drugs, overdose, unintended side effects and/or dependency.

6. People get physically injured and unintentionally get hooked on prescribed drugs.
The people at risk for this are physical laborers, elderly, and anyone with pre-existing injuries. Some people are born with chronic pain due to deformities – others get injured. Doctors then prescribe drugs for what they are intended for and a person can quickly build a dependency. Especially if that drug is making them feel all better, they rationalize that it must be ok to keep taking the drug, which can result in dependency.

7. People use drugs to cover painful memories in their past.
Many people go through extremely traumatic events in their life, many times as children, and turn to drugs to cover the horrible memories. Children are extremely susceptible to trauma, whether physically or emotionally, and those feelings can haunt them into their adulthood. These people could benefit from working with psychologists to help repair their damaged mind. Drugs usually only deepen the issue.

8. People think drugs will help them fit in.
When hanging out with friends, it’s easy for people to want to fit in and seem like one of the crew. If others are drinking or doing drugs, it’s very likely for someone to fall into that trap. Peer pressure can be a tremendous force causing someone to try things they would normally not try on their own.

9. People chase the high they once experienced.
Ask anyone who has tried drugs and they will tell you that it is one of the best feelings of their life. The highs from drugs are so much more extreme than regular everyday joys because most drugs overload the pleasure sensors in your brain. Once a person feels this extreme pleasure, it’s common for that person to become hooked on a drug simply chasing the initial high they once felt. As we all know, this is a viscous cycle that is extremely difficult to break. The highs are equally as powerful as the lows felt when coming off of the drugs.

By: Nate Blair (Jennifer’s brother)

This article can be found on ezinearticles.com – 9 Reasons Why People Use Drugs and Alcohol.


  1. says

    I am 99% positive that I knew your daughter at least in passing in the late ’90’s.

    Your points #8 and 6 both pertain to me..

    When I was younger I didn’t always fit in very well with the kids.. come high school (I think I was a Junior at the time) one of the “popular kids” in one of my classes had some tin foil and I noticed he was looking at it a lot. I asked him what it was and he told me it was acid.. Well.. wanting to fit in with the cool kids I automatically asked him if I could do some with him (I had never even taken a drink of alcohol at that point). After that I was hooked.. I don’t think I was ever really addicted to one particular drug.. but I was addicted to the whole party aspect of doing them.. the feeling that everyone around you accepts you for “who you are” even tho they are really accepting you because you are partying with them. After I graduated from High School I got in way deeper.. I found the Rave scene in Tampa and next thing I knew it was Ecstasy and Cocaine and whatever else.. this phase in my life lasted for about 10 years.. I partied everywhere in the country.. literally.. I got so into it that I was putting on raves in LA one summer.. then Chicago the next.. did it in Baltimore and NYC..

    Then I met my wife.. I am not quite sure what happened to me.. but the moment I met her I knew she was for me.. I got off drugs for many years once we got together.. at least no where near the amounts I had been doing before that.

    About 3 years ago I needed back surgery (I have actually had 2 back surgeries now and countless injections) In the mean time I started taking opiate pain killers in order to manage the pain.. This is the one class of drugs that I have never had a run in with.. never did the Heroin thing and prescription pills weren’t heavily abused when I was partying back in the 90’s.

    Now if I don’t take my meds (I have tried to quit cold turkey a few times) I get deathly ill.. like to the point that I honestly can’t stand it. So.. even tho it is prescribed by a doctor and I take them the way I am supposed to I am still addicted to them. My pain doctor tells me that I will be on opiate pain killers the rest of my life.. I guess that is the plan.. the drug companies are getting rich while America is stuck addicted to their poisons..

    I am very sorry about your daughter.. I saw her picture on Facebook and immediately was like “I am 99% sure I knew her”. I would have known her while she was partying of course.. but she always seemed like a pretty happy person with a wonderful life ahead of her.

    My deepest condolences..


  2. says

    I realize that life has it’s many challenges and also that mental illness plays a large part in people who are self medicating with illegal drugs. Seems they get worse as time goes by because the drugs they take impair their connections with others even further. I met a man who seemed to have an unusual personality but I did not think too much of it – just that he was a little eccentric. We are both grown people. Initially this person was warm and friendly. As time wore on another side emerged. He admitted his drug use and it seemed like he was trying to make a change. However that did not happen, at least during the time we were together. I tried to help as best as I could, but the relationship completely deteriorated. I think prolonged drug use has very serious consequences on interpersonal relationships. This a very painful path to go down.

      • gail says

        i had a boyfriend who is a drug addict also before i thought he would really change but as time goes by things are getting worst, many people whom know him better warned me that my bf is a drug addict but i didnt listen because for all i know he would really change until one day i saw him, yes with my own two eyes that he use prohibited drugs. i burst into tears and decided to leave him eventhough it hurts but im thinking that if i stay with him my life would be miserable forever. i still love him but i will stop this feeling for good

  3. Barbara Ellen says

    This is a great article. Certainly, includes all the reasons I started using drugs. I got introduced to Vicodin after a number of surgeries. When I took the first one, I just felt “right.” I suffer from depression and I thought I had found the best anti- depressant in the world. Until opiates no longer worked and I had lost so many things. I’m 8 months clean now. I was one of the lucky ones. I have many friends who died from this disease. Keep up the good work.“Thank you Jennifer for all your work.”

  4. Carole Thomas says

    We lost our daughter Sara in 2013 when she was 25 yoa. She used for 11 years. In and out of rehab, and jail once. She tried all kinds of drugs. She couldn’t break the bondage. She didn’t want to use but stated she couldn’t stop. I feel like such a failure as a parent and will never forgive myself for listening to everyone’s advice about “tough love”. That’s b.s. My “tough love” caused me to side with my husband bc he wanted to be “on the same page”. He once said “I don’t care what she’s doing as long as she doesn’t bother him”. Now she’s gone and I still don’t think he gets it. Yeah he feels guilty but so what. Sorry means nothing. I will never fully understand what was really bothering her enough to self-destruct her life since age 14 with her first suicide attempt by OD of tylenol PM. I guess that is what drugs do, lead to despair and total lack of self-esteem. It is absolutely the saddest thing in the entire world to watch your daughter be lowered into ground. I hope people realize that addiction of any kind is life and death and not alot of addicts make it.

    • admin says

      Dear Carole,

      My deepest condolences to you and your family at the passing of your daughter, Sara. I too have a daughter with that same name (Sarah). Addiction is a mystery disease to those of us who do not suffer fromaddiction. We try and understand it but it is still hard to feel what they feel and know what goes on in their mind and how powerful the addiction really is. That’s why I fight for help, intervention and treatment. Please know I understand your pain because I have lived it. May God bless you with his mercy and peace.

      Sharon Blair

    • says

      thank you, for your comments on “tough love”. I too kept hearing it, and I was tough, too. And lost the relationship also. I think tough love requires a balance, a fine balance that is also tough to find, but Worth it.
      thank you to the Blair family for your strength through you difficult time of loss, to provide for others with this campaign and with this great information.
      Janet B., recovering from the relationship

  5. Lea says

    I need help i dont knw how i wil get thru life i want to be a normal person inside my soul im suffering 4 a cure.it hurts knwing and realising im a meth addict..bt everyone think im clean.

  6. Mike Miller says

    I want to get off drugs myself, because of my health problems, but I live in a small town, and help is not available.

    • says

      there is always help even in small town I live in a small town and my brother does drugs and he says he want to quit so we took him to a place 30 mins away from where we live and he was living I suggest that you talk to a preacher or pastor that lives in your town a lot of times they know of somewhere near you or around you to get help my dads a preacher. so you can asks them I wish you luck God bless great work on this site help me with my paper on drug abuse.

    • a 13 year old little girl says

      well you could help your self its just like cutting you have to force youre self not to do it try forceing oyur self not to do it

  7. carol says

    mental health is an illness .drugs are a choice .i am mentally ill and do not like being told i am likely to take drugs.i do not like being compared with those people some people are ill .drugs is a choice same as alcohol.

    • admin says

      Carol, A substance use disorder is a mental health issue. Many people suffering from SUD also suffer from a dual diagnoisis of mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, bi-polar etc. The use substances because they are suffering from mental health issues and self medicate. They need professional help just like any other person who has a mental health issue.

  8. Rob says

    Never ignore learning difficulties in young people grades k-12. Just a quick explanation, my learning difficulties went on untutored through my school years… my parents just seemed to hope that one day, my skills would improve, but they didn’t. Report card time was always a difficult time for me as I always disappointed, yet I was always able got squeak by with a passing grade C-.
    Year after year, all of my helpless disappointment at home led me to become rebellious and carry serious feelings of insecurity/inferiority toward my peers… and there’s where I sought an escape route via alcohol & substance.

    Grandparents & parents, get involved with the activities of your young ones, a learned kid is typically an esteemed kid.

  9. says

    I am the manager of a halfway house/wellness centre in Somerset West, South Africa and will be staging a symposium on 19 February 2015 regarding drug addiction. Knowledge is power and I hope these 9 reasons can help creating awareness in our community because pre caution is most certainly better than after care. Thanks for the article

    • Dorota says


      my name is Dorota , my ex husband and his brother have a severe drug addiction especially to tik and dagga. they both are homeless now for the last 8 days or so. my ex husband was willing to go to rehab but thee is just no finances for that and we went to a place in somerset west behind the clinic but they wanted to see him 4 times a week as a outpatient which defnitley wont work for him as the problem is to severe. where can a person go if they have no finances? people need inpatient care but government rehabs have 8 months waiting period.

  10. Lgarcia says

    My brother has been a drug addict for 7 years. He is 19 years old. I am thinking of filing a petition to baker act him, however it is only for 72 hours that they do the evaluation and let him go. Drugs are already stopping him from thinking as a normal person and can no longer be left alone. He doesn’t want to admit he has a problem. How can I help him?

    • admin says

      I would recommend filing a Marchman Act petition which specifically addresses substance addiction issues and need for involuntary commitment. I am working on The Jennifer Act (improving Florida’s Involuntaty Commitment procedures) but for now that is what is offered in Florida for Substance addiction and those who need treatment but refuse to get help. I hope this helps you with your brother.

      Sharon Blair

  11. Deborah bastable says

    My son died in a rehab in Arlington Virginia. It is a long sad story and started in 2006 . He became addicted to pain killer after 13 days in the hospital. Six years and treatment centers for days at a time we finally were able to get three months treatment but was injured in the faucility . He died that evening in the rehab of an overdose..

    • Judy C. says

      My heart goes out to you. As a mom of an addict who made it through rehab, I can’t imagine the pain you and your family have endured. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

  12. Nina says

    Thanks, for sharing your story, and for fighting to get additional laws put in place for others, who is fighting addiction. This is something that needs to be implementing in every state. Sorry for your loss.

  13. Syed Masroor Ali Shah says

    thank you so much and great respect to you.. your article help me a lot in doing my assignment on Alcohol.. again thanks and grateful to you for your this kindness and act.. stay bless

      • Bill says

        I didn’t know how to post a comment so I too would like to thank the moderator for their compassion and concern for others. I am at risk myself due to health problems and just wanting to medicate myself from the pain of life. I don’t take street drugs but am at risk for addiction to doctor prescribed anti anxiety medication. I am no better than any body else but seem to get my feelings hurt easily due to being lousy at setting boundaries. Just reading others stories at 2am in the middle of the night has helped. God Bless. P. S. I read parts of the Psalms tonight and got some comfort. Thank you again, moderator.

      • John McCausland says

        Sharon – I have been in and out of recovery since 1985. I haven’t had a drink since 1985 but ended up in detox after 16 years clean and sober hooked on MS Contin. I stayed clean for 10 years and then took some Norco for chronic back pain. I got off that after a year or so but then have found excuses to get myself back on Norco again. I have pain that is real but the meds change me in away that I feel I belong in the world. I can’t seem to get that sense of well being without drugs. I just want to feel OK in my own skin. What is wrong with me? I am 58 years old and feel like I did when I was 12. I know I can stop again buy why would I want to feel lousy again. I have a loving 28 year marriage, a good job, and nothing seems to feel right. Until that first dose. I haven’t given up but I am just so frustrated being a broken man. Thanks to all for your words and comments it really helped me to reach out. Still trying and not giving up in CA

        John M

        • admin says

          Hello John,

          Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story. Addiction can be very complicating but it is treatable and professional help can guide you on that road to well-ness. Having the right tools is key to a successful recovery. That is where the treatment comes into play. I am not sure if you are a man of faith, but if you are, I would highly suggest a faith-based treatment program, preferably a residential one for awhile. It takes time to heal and to regain control of life clean and drug-free. The brain and the body can and do heal, but it does not happen over night. Day by day, it gets a little easier and your life will regain a normal state of mind. I am a Christian, so I know that God is ready to help us if we pray and call on Him. His love never fails and he is faithful and loves us unconditionally. Perhaps there is a Pastor or Preacher who could pray with you and help guide you. Sometimes, if a person is addicted and suffering from depression, their doctor may help with short term anti- depressant medications and can also treat withdrawal symptoms as well. We know that “dope-sickness” is Satan’ greatest tool to keep an addict coming back for more. Having a medical doctor assist with detox is very beneficial and I would suggest that you talk with your doctor and ask for his help. Getting medical and spiritual help and guidance is critical to help give you a leg up on this journey. I hope I have helped you with some food for thought and I do pray that you seek and find help to overcome dependency once and for all. Many are living a life in recovery, free of all substances. Trying to “go it” alone is rarely the answer. Support groups such as Overcomers and Celebrate Recovery are great groups and you can find meetings in your area. I wish you God’s blessings and His peace. -Sharon Blair

  14. 123 says

    im a student from benson high I wanted to understand why you guys get on to drugs . and be addicted . im doing a project in class so respond back asap . thank you for all your time .

    • admin says

      You need to get a book and read it on substance addiction. It is a disease. It requires treatment.


  15. Tim Wilson says

    Bless you Sharon and Jennifer was lucky to have you as a mom. Thanks for all the work you are doing.

    • admin says

      Hello Tim,

      Thank you for taking time to write to me. I loved my daughter Jennifer with all of my heart and soul and faught very hard to save her life. I miss jennifer every day and her precious son (my grandson Trey) who I have not seen since Jennifer passed away. I want to help others who are suffering from addiction. They don;t have to die. Their lives are precious and worth fighting for. Recovery is possible. Some need extra help to get there. I want to help them get there. God bless! Sharon Blair

  16. mary says

    Well, I kind of understand. My boyfriend uses drugs. But he never told me. I only knew about weed. I don’t smoke. I am a completely good girl. On new years eve he snorted cocaine infront of me. I shook my head told him not to and he just did it. I felt my heart break in many pieces. He promised that was the last time. But recently a few days ago i’ve found out he still uses cocaine, mdma, codeine etc… I cried he keeps on lying but I am not stupid… I don’t know what to do. His mom and dad never gave a shit about him. So I am the only one who cares. I can’t open up to anybody of how much this hurts. He had cancer when he was little. I have no idea what to do. I love him so much but I feel like I am giving up. His friend told me he doesn’t do it to hurt me intentionally. That if I leave him he will start using it even worse. I feel so broken and useless. What can I do..

    • admin says

      Hello Mary,

      From what you have told me, your boyfriend is not only abusing illegal drugs but is probably addicted to drugs. First, I want to tell you his drug use is his choice. If you leave him and he he uses more, that is his choice, not your choice. There is help and treatment available in every state. If you tell me your city and state, I can give you more specific places to call for help. There are many groups for support for you as well, like Al-Anon. This is support for those who are not addicted but have a family member or loved one who is addicted to drugs, alcohol, etc. You need support for you and guidance. Look on my website and find the Resources Tab. I have lots of links for help listed on the Resources Tab. Do you have a Pastor, Teacher or Friend that can help guide you and pray with you? If so, please confide in a trusted person to help you. Your boyfriend’s addiction is not something you can fix. He will have to reach for help to help himself. You can however, give the resources and help line numbers to call. If your boyfriend has medical insurance,there is most likely “behavioral health care” on his insurance card with a phone number for him to call for help.
      You are not responsible for his addiction or for his recovery. I hope this helps you, Mary.


      Sharon Blair

  17. Laura says

    I’ve recently filed the Marchman Act petition on my 30 year old son. I did this without the help of an attorney and am now wondering if that was a mistake. I’m unable to get any information about my son at all. I don’t know for sure that he’s still being held. Once I filed there was a lot of confusion as to how and who would pick him up. I know at some point he was transported to the hospital for Medical detox and that was the last I’ve heard. We are now approaching 72 hours since he was picked up. Should I try to contact the court or the judge who signed the petition? Any advise is appreciated.

    Thank you,


    • admin says

      Hi Laura, Yes make contact with the court where you filed the Marchman Act. I would also suggest contacting the Clerk of the Court where you filed. They may know what hospital he was taken to for detox.


  18. Janelle says

    We have been battling a Rollie coaster of emotions with my brother in law recently. He is very addicted to drugs and he is having a hard time staying clean. This week will be his third time in rehab but I’m afraid he needs more than rehab. He has been depressed and feels jealous of everyone else’s happiness. I understand the drugs take over and he does not think as straight as he use to but he tells us he wants to be happy and that’s why he does drugs. What other services can we look into for him to get more for him. It seems the 30 day programs his insurance covers (which dictates location too) have not been beneficial to him. How do we find what he truly wants and how to know what is making him so unhappy. Or did the addiction take over to much?

    Ps all the information including comments was great to read for the situation we are going through right now. We just don’t want to have to say good bye to him.

    • admin says

      Hi Janelle,

      I am sorry to hear about your brother-in-law’s struggle with addiction. These is no one size fits all treatment for a person suffering from a chronic addiction. Often times there are mental health & substance abuse issues combined. Example: a person can be suffering from a mental disorder such as depression or anxiety along with abusing drugs or alcohol. This is called a dual-diagnosis, which would require professional help and treatment to treat both issues. I always say that a 30 program is usually not enough time to recover. I would seek a professional who can address both issues that are going on and I would recommend seeking out a good faith-based program (long term, residential). -Sharon

  19. Regina says

    My brother works every day he come home he drank until he pass out or get in a fight now he’s loss so much weight I think he doing g drugs too. He can be happy one minute the his mood would change i want to get him help but i don’t know how to approach this or what should I do.

  20. Nancy latoya says

    Hi, i am glad i came across this site and i need help. I am engaged and to be married in 2016. My fiancé is addicted is a drug user and denies it. We broke up 2years back due to the habit and the reason I suspect that he still uses drugs is because he stills Hangs out eith friends that are “known” to uses drugs. This is such a sensitive topic and i feel so helpless and don’t know how to deal with this. Help

    • admin says

      Hi Nancy,

      I am sorry to hear about your fiance’s drug addiction. I would suggest that you see if he would go speak to a councelor and you could join him or at least go with him for moral support. I would also see into a family intervention wioth others who have his best interest in mind and only want the very best for his life and future. Affiction can be treated successfully if the person is willing to take that first step and seek treatment.

      Sharon Blair

  21. Stephanie says

    Hi, my 27 yr old son has been battling heroin for several years and before that it was pain pills. I kept looking for a long term treatment place and every one I contacted it was between 20,000-30,000. He has done the 30 day treatment several times, 6 months in jail and still does drugs.(IV user), I had him on suboxone but he just sold them to buy his heroin. He got arrested for stealing and when I posted his bond it was with the addition of long term treAtment. I met a mother who lost her son and her other son was in treatment, she helped me get my son into the Isaiah House, celebrate recovery, faith based. He’s been there since 2-12-15. He is like a different person, they are treating his bipolar too. I would ask around at any of the churches where you live to see if they have a place like this. It’s affordable, 350.00 a month which covers room,board, medicine counseling and so much more. I’m in Ky, which has been hit hard with the heroin epidemic. Isaiah house takes people from out of state too. Good luck and God Bless

    • admin says

      Hi Stephanie,

      Thanks for sharing about this treatment center in KY. That is good information to share with others.

      Sharon Blair

  22. Matthew says

    Dont blame me, i went to several doctors and they still dont want to prescribe me the anti depressants that i obviously need, so alcohol is my only choice to make the pain stop.

  23. Franchesca says

    Hello my name is Franchesca I was clean for 1hr and 1/2 and about 2months ago I picked up again I still can’t believed I did it and now I can’t stop using my drug of chose is pain killers/Xanax I need help and don’t know where to go I live in NY

    • admin says

      Hi Franchesca,

      Here are some resources for NY.

      Alcoholics Anonymous
      What Is Provided: Support for people with alcoholism
      For Whom: Anyone who wants to stop drinking
      Contact: Call (212) 647-1680 or visit http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org

      Narcotics Anonymous
      What Is Provided: Support for people with drug problems
      For Whom: Anyone who wants to stop using drugs
      Contact: Call (212) 929-6262 or visit http://www.na.org

      New York City Al-Anon
      What Is Provided: Support for individuals and families whose loved ones have alcoholism
      Contact: Call (212) 941-0094 or visit http://www.nycalanon.org/

  24. Max says

    In Indonesia if they catch someone bringing drugs in the country, they will put you to death. America should do the same. The dealer are the one that selling it to young people. If America do that people will be afraid to bring drugs in the country

  25. Nikki says

    Growing up I was never exposed to drugs , even when I was in the fashion industry I avoided them. Recently 3 years ago I started a relationship with a guy who was a pro athlete who was introduced to me by a mutal friend . After two months of dating I realized he was a addicted to everything, drugs , alcohol , pain medication Oxy’s. I did everything in the book , intervention , rehab , took him to see a doctor to take a shot called vivital to block opiates . Drove him to his apiontments , had him stay in my home for months caring for him trying to detox him alone . What I realized is that I did it all and every time I tried and saw success he would fold and 3-4 weeks after have a relaps again and again. This wore me down , and I started suffering , crying , not being able to sleep at night, wondering if the next time I see him I’ll find him dead. He drove in my gated community and knocked down a fire hydrant with his care and fled the scene , I found out he invited hookers to his house , blamed it on the drugs , was so verbally disrespectful to his friends and parents telling his own father F U . Punching through walls , trying to manipulate me , making me feel worthless…. I lost myself in this process . I ended up leaving the situation but told him I’m still around for him but not as a girlfriend , as a friend. I told him he needs to do this for himself and make the choice forhimself , within a month
    he already had some girl move in with him and now it’s been 6 months and he’s had two dui’s with 24 hour period . His new girl friend uses him and ignores that he has an issue .
    I spend 2 and half years trying save him and I still love him after 6 month. And even though I don’t want to be with him, I want to help him from a distance . How can I do this . I know he’s suffering. Something is killing him inside , from his past . And I know deep down he’s a good person, I just feel helpless. I had a good relationship with his parents and he quickly broke that. He in the end told me he never loved me and I feel he never saw eve thing I did for him was out of love trying to help him, he only thought I was trying to sabotage his use . By being open with his parents and friends , because he would try to lie to everyone trying to say he had no issue and cover it up . I don’t know why I’m still thinking about this and writing this , I guess what it comes down to after so much of my time and energy I tried to save his life , and maybe I did at the time , but now I feel
    Helpless and just would break my heart even more if I found out he died . Pleas esome one help me try to find a solution and how I can help from a distance I don’t want to give up on him and the fight to save him.

    • admin says

      Hi Nikki,

      I understand your feelings for this guys who was your boyfriend and now is your friend whom you still have concern for his welfare. He was very fortunate to have a friend like you. It is very hard for us (non addicted) person(s) to get into the head of a drug user and try and understand it. The best thing you can do is let him know when he is ready to reach for help and treatment, you will be there to take him to treatment. You can also print out a age of treatment centers and phone numbers for him to have if and when he chooses to call for help. He will need to do a phone/intake evaluation over the phone with the treatment center. They will ask him questions and about his insurance, etc. They will let him know if there is a bed available for him to detox. Most of all, let him know you care about his welfare. That is all you can do. Do not give him money. He will use it to buy drugs. God luck and if this is a heavy burden on you, please consider speaking with a counselor for yourself. Thank you for writing me.- Sharon Blair

  26. Lilbit says

    In 1998 my grams died in Feb in June a friends 3 yr old drow ed and Nov my kids (2,3&5) were taken by the state of Florida due to us just recently becomeing homeless and because I was a young mom ..then later in the years after many lies about them returning our children I wound up at diff.times in 2 different psychiatric wards ..was diagnosed finally bipolar indiffriential , psycosis , agoraphobic with panic attacks..and now have severe trust issues can’t stand anything moving under my feet. (Escalators, elevators) I’m also ocd..in 2003 I started drinking ..at first I felt like it calmed me..then ..it was as long as I’m drunk nothing hurts..but in 2006 (being a classified cutter at the time) I cut a vein and about lost my life..since then I have been 8 years sober and 8&5 months no cutting .I fight with my mentality every day and it does hurt but I am doing good..(thanks for listening)

    • admin says


      I know that those suffering with mental health issues face many social stigmas which are not fair. Many people are living full healthy lives with good mental health treatment (counseling and medication). I am very glad that you are alive and doing good now. I am sorry to hear about losing your children and do hope you can be re-unified with them one day. Also know that you are never alone and God is real and cares about you and loves you. God hears our deepest prayers and always understands, even when others do not. May God bless you with his peace.
      Sharon Blair

  27. Dalton says

    I am the sun of a addict i have found my mom dead twice she is alive now and doing alittle better. But for all you people that have that person who is still addict try to help them even if they wont help them self force them help the best you can. Cause you may lose that persone and wish you would have forced them help.

    • admin says

      Dear Dalton,

      I am glad to hear your mom is alive and hope and pray she reaches for help and treatment. Thank you for writing to me.

      Sharon Blair

  28. Mike says

    I have fallen in love with a lady who used cocaine and was an alcoholic some 30 years ago and I am having a lot of trouble understanding why she would do it. I only found out about this recently though we have only been dating for a short while.

    I have never been involved in such things and it is an incredible struggle for me to not only deal with it but to comprehend it.

    I am trying not to judge her over it but i am.


    • admin says

      Hi Mike,

      Thanks for writing. If your lady friend is clean and sober today and does have any substance se issues today, then we can only look forward and what happened to her in the past is behind her now. All of us make some choices in our youth or young adult years that maybe were not the best but then people grow and mature as time goes along. Addiction is a complex thing and the reasons why people use vary from person to person. Whatever the reason, sometimes it just happens. I hope you can read up on addiction and what it is all about and that people do recover. I would suggest that you both watch the movie ” Annonomous People”. I hope this helps you. -Sharon

  29. says

    I am a victim of bullying in highschool 10 years ago.

    Today, I’m an I.T. student. I am 23 years old. My father gave me a computer for my programming simulations, projects, and others. Even on social networks or online games, I am rejected.

    Right now, I am in a current condition where I feel like I can’t climb up from my problems anymore.
    And, I stopped school 2 years ago . The way people look at me disturbs my emotions. I feel like I can’t face my school professors. I feel like my project groupmates used me just so they can graduate. I feel unneeded and hopeless.

    I never thought of using drugs. But deep inside of my feelings, I want to commit suicide.
    I’m just a burden and a freeloader in the house.
    I put a shame in the name of my parents.
    I feel like it would be best that I’m gone before them.

    There’s one thing that won’t get off of my mind though. I can’t help but wonder why people take advice more seriously from a person who they just met and not from close relatives or even their lovers. Maybe that’s just how people are these days. They give the most of their respect and politeness to strangers. Huh. Weird.

    I hope that there are people who can make cure programs connecting to this one.

    “I wanna do something just as my mind and heart tells me, but my body doesn’t allow me to do it.”

  30. shaun says

    I used drugs off and on for 16 years,I got help from churches,hospitals,drug program(s) and prayer from family and friends and I currently go to meetings
    in a group that is called Celebrate Recovery
    Celebrate Recovery is a 12 STEP Christ centered nationwide outpatient program
    that is helpful for Hurts,habits and hangups, including drugs and depression
    2 major problematic areas regarding me and many others;Celebrate Recovery
    is in almost every city in America and in towns every where .they have a website
    that will help you// http://www.celebraterecovery.com/


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